Death was always a topic that raises many indifferent opinions. One opinion in general is shared by all people: when it comes, you need to make the most of it. From this point of view the best person to lead them to a better perspective in not the lightest future is the person that can give hope. This way, the idea of interviewing a hospital chaplain looks like the right one to be chosen. Henceforth initials of the chaplain will be used for the expression of his experience in dealing with people on the death bed. The initials to be taken are: A.M. The purpose of this interview was to understand how people behave when they know that death is imminent and there is really not much time left to them. Thanks to A.M. we will have an opportunity to go behind the curtains of the death preparations by the patients of a hospital.
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As statistics show a person couth in a critical situation can totally change the way of behaving themselves. If this can be a turning point in life for quite a lot of humans, how do somebody copes with a news of a predicted life end? Mostly, they shut themselves down. You will see nothing like shown in an epic movie; no over thinking of their lives and a total change of habits isn’t happening. There comes only depression.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.)
Exactly this is the first reaction on the icky future. A human is designed to leave and get as much experience in his life as possible. If this potential is being shut down, then the organism shuts down and refuses to work properly. After getting the sad news, people expect that everybody should show compassion to them and try to entertain them with everything possible.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.) A.M. confesses that this not the action that he is taking towards the patients. No second thoughts about pettiness, in his mind this should be a time of preparation to get a better chance on the other side.
It is good when a person has a family, but mostly, in our time they stay in the hospital and do not notify anyone. They fell guilty of not having anymore the strength to go on with life as mainly it is ending, so what’s the point it?
Telling a stories about young people that go sick of AIDS, or developed cancer or diabetics expect a miracle and do not accept that the end is coming. Surely want to leave and experience everything their peers do. In a world of constant rivality it is not easy not to get into a competition end be left out. Parent complain about the expensive treatment to the doctors and come to cry to the chaplain and children complain about misapprehension of the parents about what they need. Mostly the spirit of life dies in them as soon as they heare the verdict of the doctor.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.)
Elderly people, on the other hand start to leave more actively. Actually, it looks like they get a shot of a fresh air. They confess that after a living a long life it is much more easier to make a honorable getaway if you can be prepared to it. We often question ourselves: why do the grannies travel so much and learn how be on time with electronic devices, or do something craziness like air diving, because they expected the end every day, and now they have a set date. This makes it a lot easier for them. The one that had not fulfilled something in their life try to fill in the gap, the one that had a happy lifespan just stay with their families and enjoy a foreseen end. A total displacement of the roles one must say.
If a person knows that her end is coming the most important for her becomes the preparation for the way on the other side. The thing that scares people is that nobody exactly knows what is on the other side. That is the moment when they want the chaplain to tell them something about it. Mostly they want to hear that they end up in a good place, and really a small percentage of them accepts that it can look different…(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.) As it cane be assumed all people want to hear about the paradise, nobody wants to hear about hell. Even the one that claimed to be bad all their life, hope in the secrecy of their hearts for forgiveness.
From time to time, people facing the death in the eye make an unusual request. Mainly, it is a request to be berried in some special place, or to make his funeral not a cocky way for everyone to show their morning. Request like spreading the ashes on the top of the heal or in the ocean are a constant. A.M. recollected one person that asked the family to take the ashes with themselves to each place they go and travel, so even after the death he can make it to the places he has never been. This would became quite a scare perspective on a holiday.
After all people actually do not deal with the fact of imminent death. In their vision the best way out, is either to talk about it all the time, or not even mention it.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.) In a rational perspective both this ways do not lead to anything. A man should be capable of thinking about his life, because death is an imminent part of it starting from the beginning. Maybe they should remember the words from “Peter Pan” : “To die would be an awfully big adventure”. ( J.M.Barrie, 1904.) This is the actual picture of what many people would call: going in peace.
Most of the patients from the moment they hear about the death have their wills done and try to remember what of the property or some important thing had been left out. At the end of their road they still concern about the earthly affairs when they should start thinking about something else.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.) The people that stay alive will handle everything by themselves, no matter what we prescribe them to do. We will be no longer an authority when we go in that kind of circumstances. Everything that had been asked about and wished can be put in an “insane dying wish” frame. A.M. advice for everyone who could get into the situation of imminent death is: “do not worry about the things you cant handle, if you taken on the other side, it means that You have handled enough”.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.)
To conclude, people that are dying, mainly do not have any expectations. The only thing that they develop by that time is hope. And no matter if a person is a believer or no, they just hope, that there is going to be something more to their lives as it was before.(A.M., personal communication, November 8, 2012.)
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