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Free «Family Relations and Perceptions» Essay Sample

In “Fools Rush in” the two main characters see their families differently. For Selma Hayek her family matters to her most and she actually values this basic unit that she feels part of. On a somewhat different view, Matthew Perry feels that a person’s choice and not the family’s is what matters most. After their spur of time wedding at the chapel at Las Vegas with an impersonator as the witness, there is a lot of predictable turmoil and humorous intimidation at the hands of Selma’s father, brothers and her former fiancé (Tennant, 1997). More discomfort piles up when Matthew Perry’s parents emerge. However, there is some character that defines Selma concerning her family and this is seen in her temperament of whether to live in New York or Las Vegas. For this reason, Matthew Perry is seen as less attached to his family as is in the case with Selma.

Matthew Perry relates to the family gatherings in a casual way. It causes an alarm to realize that the two agreed to marry without the knowledge of Matthew Perry’s parents. The case is different for Selma who makes an effort for Matthew Perry to meet her parents. While Matthew Perry supports Selma in whatever she chooses to do, his relationship with his family does not seem cordial. It looks that his family is the least of his worries. For Selma, she chooses to have a child on the first place and requests Matthew Perry that they may go and see her family. She does so to save her parents the shock of the fact that she was pregnant. At least, it would not concern them so much after they realized that there was a man, Matthew Perry, in Selma’s life. Matthew consents to the idea and meets Selma’s Mexican-American parents and family and he gets warm reception. For Matthew, this is a complete contrast to what he has ever experienced in his family. Their family relations seem to have gone cold and sour since there is apparently no uniting force. Selma is very much interested in hanging out with her friends and family at home than in wild periods (Tennant, 1997). She insists that the family is very useful to her. The values of the family are one of the things Selma embraces much. Unlike Matthew Perry, Selma believes in family support, family unity and family values.

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There is significant influence of assumptions and values on relationships with family members and kin groups. Matthew Perry rarely gets an eye on his family. He manages to meet them only on compulsory holidays. For Selma, the case is different. She meets her family at least once a week for dinner. It has been largely assumed and felt that children will reciprocate the same things they see in their parents and family at large including the next of kin. There are families who have largely depended and survived on interdependence whereas others have exercised independence. These two have different backgrounds and they cannot live together that is why they finally part with. Matthew Perry is from very privileged background but one that is emotionally stunted. This has affected all his life and way of doing things. To the exact opposite, Selma has passionate and plentiful family roots in rural Mexico and Las Vegas.

Just like the case is in this drama, my family and kinship group have influenced my view of the world in the manner I relate to others and how I consider my family is to be. In most cases I have expected my close associates to reciprocate what I have seen in my family background. I have found it very hard to cope with such behaviors that have not been upheld in my family lineage. Well, I have really struggled to accept diversity and thus, I have learned it the hard way. My family values have defined the way I think and the action I take and most importantly, the things I stand for. It is most likely that most of the life philosophy and beliefs have been embedded in the basic family values that I have seen and learnt. Matthew seems to have lost touch with his family because of the values he interacted with. For Selma, the bond is strong through good family relations. This is how their world view and mine as well has been influenced.

   

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