Romantic Love Is Never a Good Basis for Marriage
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The movie “The Proposal” which features Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock tells practically the same story as thousands or even millions of movies do – the story of love. However, despite such constant reference to this genre, the movie was very successful proving once again that the love stories are what people enjoy seeing each day – either to substitute the lack of love life of their own or to see that for so many people love is as important as it is for them, feeling that after each romantic comedy their feelings towards their partners become stronger. However, the romantic love, in my opinion, is quite a poor basis for getting married. In this argument proposal essay I will prove the wrongfulness of marriage based only on love, and will provide a good solution to the problem.
Not only is a mentioned movie deceiving thousands of young people of the only importance of love for a happy marriage, practically each romantic movie ends up with the decision of two young people to be together, after what they are supposed to be always happy. I am making a strong point on the influence of such movies the minds of the young people, and older people, too actually, because nowadays men and especially women are quite prone to compare what they have to what other people possess. They do not understand that producers and directors of the movies try to make selling products that can bring a lot of money and few of them really worry about the possible negative effects such movies can exert. However, real life shows that pure love is not enough to make the marriage work out.
Every day people from all over the world face financial problems, endure stresses at work, do not know what to do with their problematic children, or husbands that are inclined to drink alcohol too often. Married couples frequently feel the intrusion into their personal life from their parents, neighbors, and friends. For some couples such intrusions are sometimes fatal for the happiness of the marriage.
On the other hand, love with time changes. I do not want to say as many scientists do, that love fades away with time, or that it lasts only for three years, as I do not think so, but I recognize the fact that feelings change. They become calmer, maybe less passionate and more gentle and caring. Feelings, as if, proceed to some other stage of their emotional level. Moreover, if these feelings are not nurtured constantly, if the relationship is not worked on all the time and everywhere, the love really becomes different in a negative way in a daily routine that can kill everything possible – beginning with health and ending with love.
Therefore, the first solution to the problem of having a happy marriage must be consciousness of your actions. Both people must understand very well that the relationship will not last long if the affection which was shown in the beginning of their being together will not be continuously maintained in many different ways. Successful marriage is not only about having children, going to work, sleeping and waking up with each other and visiting parents on the weekends. A good marriage is an ever-lasting, difficult job that needs all the attention and care.
The couple should understand that despite the possible problems with money or parents, or at work, they must remain a couple – two people who are bound by the ties of love. No one else will do this work for them. Any work can be delegated to someone else but not work on love. Therefore, the ability to understand all the challenges and risks of such a step can teach people how to overcome any difficulties possible.
To keep the love, many psychologists nowadays also recommend having many occupations for pleasure which the partners will do together and will do apart. It is vital to never forget about self-development. The people who do many various and interesting things together cannot face the problems of routine life that kills any possible feelings.
Romantic love cannot bring you means of living either. The adult life begins and no parents will take the responsibility of the broken hearts. Thus, before getting married the couple should first have stable jobs or businesses and a place to live. Moreover, the division of the household chores and responsibilities is essential to avoid future quarrels and misunderstandings. The times when the woman stayed at home and did all cooking, washing, cleaning, and children’s upbringing are far in the past, and many women prefer nowadays to be in business and not changing diapers. This is one of the most important issues in each marriage – the expectations of the man and the woman do not coincide so the platform for the constant problems appears.
Many people can argue with me and think that I am materialistic or does not understand what real love is. They may prove that when you love nothing else matters, and those strong feelings can overcome any difficulties and challenges that real life offers. Whatever the thoughts are, truth will always remain the truth: Romantic love only is never enough for a happy marital life. Marital life can be described as the hardest work possible, especially when the couple has children. Therefore, each side of the relationship should be taken into consideration and nothing should be omitted. If the couple feels before marriage that there is something that irritates him or her in the other partner, or that they do not like, or something that worries them, highly probable that this ‘something’ will ruin their relationship in future if not solved now. To be happily marries means also to be open and honest, to communicate all the time. This communication is vital to overcome problems, and leads mutual respect, understanding, and support, and therefore, to a happy marriage.