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Free «Indecision» Essay Sample

The more I try to recall the earliest impressions of my early life, the more surprising the story becomes. Life indeed is full of surprises. Wonders will actually never cease. All the same, life must go on no matter what. For sure, people must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or in complaining against the change that cause us discomfort for change is the essence of life. My name is Jeffrey Choi from China. I guess by now you must be guessing my background and what my surrounding has to offer morally. China has been a land of a strict moral culture although it has gradually been deteriorating (Ou-fan Lee, 1985). Being brought up in such an environment was the most challenging thing of my teenage years.  I can say that life had much to offer. The choice only depended on the individual's tastes and preferences.

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I can remember the eve of the year 2005 with crystal clarity. There is usually a lot of fuss among the people of the land and a lot of parties and celebrations to welcome the New Year. As described by Ou-fan Lee (1985) on morality of form, my case was not different. My friends and I wanted to make it the best of all celebrations. At around eleven o'clock, 31st December 2004, I was all alone at home. Mom and dad together with my little sister Ehuang had just left to a friend's house within the neighborhood. While still enjoying a movie from the television, I heard a knock at the door. In a very relaxed manner, I walked towards the door and opened it. "Hi?" I said to my visitor. It was a daughter of a well established business man in our neighborhood. She was in a tight under skirt. Generally speaking, her dressing made me feel uncomfortable. All the same, I was too naïve and not accustomed to ladies.

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"How is home? How is everyone?" the talking began from the comfort a couch. Although my friend Cuifen was not a stranger to me, the setting was quite disturbing. She talked and acted in a manner likely to suggest that this was not just a visit. She was really an emerald fragrance. I kept on wondering how she found that I was all alone in the house. As we conversed, I came to realize later that my younger sister had shared with her my plans for that day. We kept on watching the movies and commenting on them while still talking. We drew close to one another as time went by. At a point, I felt an indescribable sensation which ran through me which made me more uneasy. The movie was over and silence ruled the place. Cuifen stared at me. Her looks killed me. We were both teenagers and not a moment too soon, we were burning with passion for each other. We started caressing. No talking. This is where the actions apparently spoke louder.

 
 
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My parents delayed coming home. It was not too long. We lay on the sofa and made love with Cuifen. We never talked much about what had just happened between us. We chose to say nothing about it.  Cuifen went home later and the day was over. Mom, my sister and dad returned home and things appeared normal as they left.  The following day, it was the New Year. We again met with Cuifen.  I do not know to call it love or what. But we continued making love as a fad as days went by. Nobody said anything about it at any point. We would just meet in our hide outs and still do what we wanted without struggling. That was the incident on a new year's eve that landed me and my friend Cuifen in such a habit. I guess we were the instrument through which the words of Lu Xun were coming to being (Ou-fan Lee, 1985).

Out of this experience, my life was in a way disoriented. I would relate these events to indecisiveness. It was not until few years later that I came to realize how indecisive I was and how this state of indecision cost me a lot of things. I had no ground to stand on this first incident and neither had Cuifen. All through my life, I found myself being a victim of various circumstances because I lacked a firm stand on what I really wanted in life. Indeed, this was a lesson of life. Therefore, I came to learn that people must seek out that particular mental attribute which makes them feel most deeply and vitally alive, along which comes the inner voice which says, "this is the real me", and when they have found that, then they can follow it. The choices we make are actually what make every one of us. So, it is a matter of choice in life.

   

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