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Jill has been my high school roommate for two and half years. He is a kind, polite, social and remarkably friendly to all. Since we both have almost the same interests in life, we do some things together and try out new products, ideas and places with her. This means that we have been very close apart from being room mates and classmates. However, recently there is a time we had a heated conversation exchange with each other; we argued a lot almost getting physical. I regret what happened between us but I still feel that Jill has been the closest friend I ever had in my life.
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After saving some cash from our pocket money, Jill and I decided to buy a computer. He went and bought a cheaper model than the one we had agreed and hid the receipt. When I confronted him, he started getting bitter saying that I do not trust him. Luckily, he accidentally dropped the receipt as he got out of the room and I managed to pick it. When he came back to the room, I was unable to control my anger and initiated the conversation as we ate some apples I had brought from the market.
“I never saw the other model; it had run out of stock”, he defended himself. “You should have called me before you purchased it and informed me about it. You upset me”. “But they told me that this was equally good, so I thought I should carry it since we seriously needed one; the only difference with this make is that its battery charge lasts for a shorter time than the other” is what she had to say to me. This seriously upset me, and I asked him, “do you have a mind of your own? Had we already agreed that we should buy a computer that keeps charge for long and you came with this? Well, I prefer the other model so long as I am the one contributing the larger share”.
“You remember how Charlie and Moses broke up over such trust issues?”, I asked at one point. “I need my money back. It is always good to consult your partner in every step you intend to take where both of your interests are,” I continued. He tried to apologise to me and beg me to take it easy and let us keep our friendship, but I resisted, “My decision is final; I am not changing my mind. It is not the first time you lied to me either. You are a liar, and you seem to be less concerned about our welfare lately,”I concluded.
From my behavior during the conversation, our relationship will be harmed in that I no longer trust him because he lied to me. Also, the fact that I bluntly told him that he do not have his own mind is enough to make him not to talk to me again. I also undermined him in the conversation since I reminded him that I was the one who contributed the larger share.
In order to engage in a more supportive behavior, I could have avoided using the second person’s language. For instance, I could simply say “I am upset” and “I would be happy if you consulted me before purchasing the computer”. I should also have said, “it is possible to sell it and get our money back. I believe we have different ideas about what we should have done at the circumstance; we should talk about it so that we get the best conclusion”.
By using this supportive language, we would not have shouted at each other. We also would have understood one another and maybe arrived a better agreement. Moreover, I would not have hurt her much if I used the supportive language.
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